A Laboring Goddess
by Scorpio71
Summary: Caution: Discord at Work - part 1 of the Gemini: The Gods of Strife and Mischief set of stories. Dread Eris; the raven haired Goddess of Discord is heavily pregnant with her latest child. But that's coming to a swift end...much to the dismay of the Council of Twelve.


Gemini: The Gods of Strife and Mischief (Part 1)

TITLE: A Laboring Goddess (or… Caution: Discord at Work)

AUTHOR: Scorpio

WARNING: Set far in the past before either HtLJ or X:WP shows

NOTES: Set in the same universe as The Punishment Series

SUMMARY: Eris' latest pregnancy reaches its end.

* * *

_Gemini: The Gods of Strife and Mischief_

**A Laboring Goddess**

The room was large, crafted of white marble columns with bronze accents and was open to the Olympian sky. On one end a series of deep-set stairs led up to a platform where the double throne of Zeus and Hera sat. On each step leading up to the twin thrones of Olympus were two smaller thrones; one for each remaining member of the Twelve. At the opposite end of the room was an open space with a small podium so that any God or Goddess that wished to could petition the Twelve.

That didn't happen very often. Normally the member of the Twelve that was the head of House for the minor God or Goddesses could deal with any and all issues, even making an alliance with another member of the Twelve. However, if it involved more than three of the Twelve, tradition and Olympian Law said the issue needed to be formally brought before the Twelve.

Thus it was on one warm breezy evening that the members of the Twelve gathered to hear a petition. Thalia, the Muse of Comedy stood before them with her son Humor the Godling of Laughter. Of the nine muses, Thalia was the least influential and Humor was practically a non-entity. Beyond Apollo who was the Head of his House and Hera who had delivered Thalia of him, none of the other Twelve had even been aware of his existence. Even mighty Zeus, who had announced his godhood a week after his birth had forgotten him.

"It's not that we don't love our jobs…we do." Thalia was pleading for understanding. "It's just that mortals change as they age. We…" she gestured between herself and her son, "have a fairly good rapport with children. They adore laughing and smiling and can see the fun in life. It's once they reach the age of reason that we lose sway with them."

Humor nodded in agreement. "It's true. One a mortal hits the age of reason, their minds change and they can no longer see the fun side to life. They stop laughing and joy doesn't fill their hearts any longer. They become stern, unforgiving, grim, and stodgy."

Thalia grimaced. "We can't reach them at that point. It makes it harder for us because as much as we love working with children, they just can't focus enough to give us the power we need to reach the adults. Only adults can give us that power."

Humor shrugged. "It's not just about us though. It's the mortals. Having laughter and comedy drain from their lives can't be good for them."

Thalia nodded and gestured helplessly. "Sometimes an adult mortal will get a shock to their system. It happens when something occurs that shakes them so badly that we can influence them again. That's rare though." She sighed. "I just don't know what to do."

Thalia looked up at the Twelve and saw nothing but serious faces. Some were grim, some were bored, and some were thoughtful, but not one of the faces expressed anything joyful or playful. She could only hope that her pleas were not in vain.

Zeus frowned and considered her request. He didn't personally believe joy and hilarity was that important, but Thalia was his daughter and he loved her. He didn't like the idea that she wasn't being fed the proper amount of power from the mortals simply because adults didn't have the ability to relate to her godhood. And while he didn't understand Comedy or Laughter, he did understand Power.

"I…"

Whatever he'd been about to say was abruptly cut off as the sky darkened with boiling clouds rolling overhead and then the building and ground shook violently for a brief moment. Thalia and Humor were tossed to the floor and the Twelve all clung to their respective thrones. A raven screamed loudly and wind whipped through the room, ruffling clothing and rearranging hairstyles.

Then, as suddenly as it began, the quaking stopped and the sky cleared.

"What the Tartarus was that!?" Demeter shouted.

Ares turned his head to gaze toward the east where his little slice of Olympus was situated. The Realm of War was still quaking even if the rest of Olympus was now free of the power rush.

"That power surge originated at the Downward Spiral!"

Zeus' frown deepened. "Eris' temple?"

Ares nodded absently, his mind still attuned to the lands and people he held dominion over.

Poseidon snorted with aggravation. "What is Discord up to now? Can't she control herself better than that?"

Ares scowled viciously, but it was a gossiping Aphrodite that answered.

"You haven't heard?" Aphrodite smirked. "Eris is massively preggers and about as big as one of your whales. She's been causing havoc and mayhem all over the place. Didn't she send any your way? That's so totally not fair. She knocked down one of my Grecian temples during a hormone swing about four months ago."

"Pregnant?" Poseidon looked aghast. "Again?!"

Before anyone could answer, the sky began rolling with dark clouds for a second time and the building began to shake and the ground to quake. The Twelve all clutched their thrones again and Demeter gasped, "I hope to Tartarus Discord's contractions don't rip Olympus apart. What in Chronos name is she birthing? A Titan?"

Everyone grimaced at the very idea of the Titans returning to Olympus through Discord. She was a fiercely protective mother and trying to kill off one of her kids really would tear Olympus apart.

Suddenly, the dark boiling clouds overhead gave a little hiccup and then water poured down on top of them since the room didn't have a ceiling. Nearly instantly, everyone was drenched.

"Oh no! My hair!" Aphrodite reached up a dripping hand to grasp at her hair as the matted tangle of curls slid from their pile on top of her head and sort of drooped in a snarl just behind her left ear.

Hestia snorted even as she desperately created a little hovering mini tent overtop of her head to block the rain from hitting her. "Your hair? What about MY hair?" And indeed, the ever cheerful fire which was the Goddess of the Hearth's hair was burning low and spitting fitfully as if it were about to extinguish. That would be a tragedy as extinguishing the fire that was her hair would also extinguish every hearth fire on the mortal realms and on Olympus.

Apollo held a pinch of fabric between his fingers and pulled his robe away from his body to gape at it in horror. The bright and shiny gold threads were darkening from the water drenching it, changing it from a sunny golden yellow to a sort of pus-mustard yellow with a greeny-brown undertone.

"My robe is ruined!" he cried.

Hermes inflamed the situation by informing Apollo, "Huh…you sort of look like a giant walking infected wound."

While everyone bitched and moaned about ruined hairstyles or clothes, Hera calmly stood up.

"Well, it seems as if Eris' waters have broken. I need to go and deliver her of her child." And with that, she flashed away in a small explosion of power and the swiftly fading shimmers of a glowing peacock feather left in her wake.

Suddenly, the rain stopped even as the room began to quake again. It shook so hard that the creaking of distressed marble could be heard before a few loud detonations rang in everyone's ears as chunks of stone cracked and fell. Shrieks of upset and frustration rose up from the Twelve;…well, the eleven since Hera wasn't there to make them the official Twelve. When it finally stopped, Ares' dark eyes went wide in surprise and he leapt from his throne of skulls.

"Shit! That last power surge just released my hounds!"

Athena, who was busy wringing water out of her robes and trying to pretend that no one could see her nipples through the wet linen barely glanced at him and shrugged. "So what? It's not as if you haven't released them before. Usually to chase down your minions that had the bad luck or stupidity to have pissed you off. Most of your citizens will hide in their homes and the rest will try to escape them until you call them back to their kennel."

Ares snarled. "That would be true if they were actually still in the Realm of War!"

Athena blinked. "What?"

Then suddenly a dripping and angry Demeter was there, screeching in his face even as her skin turned a greeny-red and thorns sprouted up all over her.

"Why are the Dogs of War in the Fields of Abundance and running amuck!?" Her wet brown hair turned into leafy green vines that writhed with her anger. She lifted her arm and began to beat Ares about the head and shoulders with the sheaf of wheat she normally carried everywhere with her. "My gentle farmers are screaming in fear and the crops are being trampled underfoot!"

Ares snarled at his aunt and just barely resisted the urge to poke her with something sharp and pointy; like his sword for instance. "I didn't send the hounds to your realm! They were released by a power surge during Eris' last contraction!"

They glared at each other for a long moment and then Athena was there. She reached out and grabbed Demeter's wrist to stop her from smacking Ares again, then nudged his shoulder to get his attention. "Ares, just go collect the damn dogs. Olympus doesn't need to suffer a famine just because Demeter's servants are too dumb to handle a few overgrown puppies."

Demeter turned to screech at Athena about how her minions were not dumb and that the Dogs of War were most definitely not puppies. With one last snarl at Demeter, Ares disappeared in a flash of light and a rain of blood red sparks that sizzled against anything they touched.

Another contraction hit Discord and the power surge shook the room so hard that half the occupants were thrown off of their feet. Including Hermes who fell into Artemis. He tried to catch his balance by grabbing hold of her, but all he managed to do was rip her toga off of her body and leave the virgin Goddess standing there naked as he crashed to the floor at her feet.

Artemis screamed so loudly that everyone stopped their yelling and fighting to turn and stare at her.

Aphrodite whistled. "Woo-hoo! Way to go Artie! Take it all off!" Apollo, Hermes, Hephaestus, and Poseidon leered lewdly even as they nodded in agreement. It didn't help that Thalia was smirking wildly and that Humor was rolling on the ground laughing in hysterics.

With another yell, this one of anger, Artemis summoned her bow. The first arrow caught Hermes right between the eyes and turned him into a fat furry bunny rabbit with long ears. Before the second arrow was even notched, Zeus reached out and clamped a hand down on the shoulder of his brother and flashed them away to his study. Releasing Poseidon, he waved a hand at a polished silver mirror and a shimmering wave of power sizzled through the air towards it. When the power hit the mirror it glowed for a moment before the reflection changed to the inside of the Petition Hall of the Twelve.

They watched as bunny Hermes hopped around franticly while Apollo tried to hide behind the brown bear that Aphrodite had become. Hephaestus tried to duck out of the way too, but was too slow due to his limp. An arrow caught him in the shoulder and he shimmered a silver glow before melting into the form of a twelve point buck.

"Hah!" Artemis' voice sounded oddly hollow from the mirror. "Now I'm not the only one that has an amazing rack forge-boy!"

Just then another contraction-power surge hit and the Petition Hall shook. Everyone, Gods and animals alike fell to the floor. In Zeus' study, the power surge had a different effect. All the candles in his study flared to life so strongly that the foot high flames caught several tapestries alight. Poseidon waved his hands and a small surge of power snuffed the flames on both the candles and the tapestries.

"All this craziness is a really bad omen." Poseidon intoned ominously.

Zeus looked at him curiously.

"If Discord's child is causing this much trouble during its birth…what is it going to do once it's grown into an adult God?"

Zeus went pale.

"I need to consult the Fates!"

With that, he flashed out of his study in a wash of blinding power and the sound of rolling thunder.


End file.
